I now have my beautiful daughter, Claire Ann. She is sweet, funny and so much more then I could ever expect. You think once you have had a baby you have it all figured out.....but that is just not the case. At. All. Lately my patience has been shot. I just get frustrated way too easily and at the end of the night when I go to check on them and kiss their little cheeks I just feel the overwhelming amount of love, so powerful that it hurts. And then comes the guilt. Did I really have to get mad about that? Couldn't you have played with Callum a little longer?
You know kids are amazing. I love that Claire knows me and that she is the happiest and most content when I am holding her.....at least I would like to think so. What I always tell Callum is that I wish the world loved other people the way Callum loves his mommy. I think you can tell your child's personality on a deep
level when they are children. Callum is sensitive, very particular, loves structure but above all, that boy can love. He is deeply loyal.....almost to a fault. I am not an affectionate person by nature but as I have gotten older I have tried very hard to to be extremely loving to my children. I want then to understand that the love I have for them is overwhelming. I love how Callum loves his sister. He can do his thing for hours and not say much to her but then out of nowhere I see him go over to her and whisper " you know, you are my best girl". I love how Claire loves Callum. She will look at him and smile huge. Sometimes he won't see her and she will start yelling until he looks and then she smiles at him. Again, overwhelming love.
The past couple of weeks have been great and hard all at the same time. Malick came home for two weeks and left yesterday . So while he was here I only had to give Claire her baths because Malick took care of Callum's. It was nice to be a team and get some breaks. So now after getting use to all of that, he had to go back to Auburn. This is hopefully about over. It has been the biggest challenge ever.
The highlight of the week came on Friday morning when I arrived at the Apple Store at 7:30am in the freezing cold. I had been planning all week to go and get the iPad2 and I knew I had to get there early and that their would be a line and still no guarantee I would get one. So, I get there and I am not the first, I am the tenth!! Holy cow, it doesn't even open til 9am! I may have not been the first but I without a doubt was the dumbest!! It had snowed in the middle of the night and do you think i wore my boots that were sitting by the door? Nope. I wore slip on flats.....with no socks! Yep, I stood in the snow and thought without a shadow of doubt that at 845 I would have to have a couple of toes amputated. It was horrible. The woman a couple of people back dug out a pair of miss matched socks from her purse. I took them and had more gratitude then I have felt in a long long time. I mean, I had already taken my coat off to take my cardigan off and wrapped it around my feet. But I did get the iPad....actually I got two. I bought my mom one too. She has helped us a ton since I have had Claire. She comes up every week to watch her so that I can go to work and we don't have to put her in daycare. She is making a huge sacrifice and I wanted to get something that I knew she would love. Boy does she! And boy do I!!!!! This thing is amazing. I mean so amazing that for me it is life changing. I can do so much on it, like type this blog. So many things. It has helped me unwind the past couple of days. Malick said I would be fine without him because I have the iPad:) I am excited about the iMovie app. When I was in college I loved making movies. So I cant wait to make things for the kids. I have messed with it a little but I want to learn more. So, tomorrow night I am going to a iPad class at the Apple store to learn more, and then come home and share with my mom the knowledge.
Here is my heart beating in two little bodies.
Whelp, that about wraps it up. See ya in 2012:)
Kidding, I kid. I hope to do better at this. No promises.
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